And the time has finally come...maybe

This month I have gone on and on about my New Year’s resolutions and how I’m going to stick with them.  This is the year!  Let’s do this!  And then I go an entire week without posting anything to my blog, and seemingly without writing.  I say seemingly because, in fact, I have been writing (wahoo!) but not for this blog.  I have been given the opportunity to write a few pieces for the O.A.R.S. Adventure blog, and that has therefore caused writing here to take a back seat.  But it’s exciting…getting some “published” pieces under my belt is a huge blessing.

I also received an encouraging compliment from our Marketing Director, who said the latest piece I submitted was the best writing of mine he has seen.  Proof that writing begets writing, and skills compile the more you use them.  I really, truly, deeply believe that writing here, expressing ideas without the pressure of deadlines or editors (which absolutely-without-a-doubt make me clam up), is making my writing better.  You may not agree…I still have a long way to go and will never stop developing or learning the craft of creative writing.  But it’s a start, and I am stoked.

So, in the interest of continuing to develop my own personal writing flare, I will keep posting here with the goal of something new two times a week.  So, onwards and upwards, my friends…

I’ve used the term whirlwind before to describe a weekend, and every single time I’ve used it, the experience falls short of the whirlwind that was January 16-18.  Friday night I picked up Natalie and we drove to Nevada City, danced through the night, watched films all day Saturday, drove back home to Murphys, loaded up an impressive truck and trailer load, drove down to San Luis Obispo, and by 9 a.m. on Monday I was back at my desk clocked in at O.A.R.S. here in Angels Camp.  I collected a total of 758 miles, not including the driving around that happened once we arrived in San Luis Obispo. Whew, it was quite the weekend. 

I was exhausted for most of the following week.  I have read that sleep is not like a bank— you can’t sleep 4 hours one night and then 12 hours the next night to “make-up” for “lost” sleep.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Your body needs a certain amount of sleep each night, and when you don’t get that, you have a deficit that can’t really be filled back up.   Not to say you can’t wake and feel rested ever again, it just doesn’t work like a piggy bank.  I may be 24 and mostly healthy, but my youth and vitality cannot withstand that kind of weekend and be functioning on full cylinders.  I was groggy all week. Lesson learned. 

That week and this week have been spent packing and going through all my stuff, deciding what to keep, what to leave and what to donate.  While I have to admit, I kind of love this process, it’s also been pretty stressful.  I have cleared out the Huggy Hut (for the most part), and have moved into Huck and I’s new trailer, which is parked at O.A.R.S.  I have a huge pile of stuff that is (hopefully) going to be packed in my car and moved to SLO with me after work on Friday. I can’t believe the time is here (again, hopefully.  I won’t know for sure until my work computer is in my hands!)  It’s been a long road (5 ½ years!) that Huck and have I moved about, sometimes together but mostly not.  This is a move that has no end date, and that is a first.  We’ve always moved about for school, work or family, but this time we get to start a life together.  And it’s pretty damn exciting.

The Challenges of Being Sentimental

If you have seen Into the Woods, you’ll understand why I can’t stop talking about it.  It was the best movie I’ve seen in a long time, hands down.  It was hilarious, and the singing wasn’t even annoying (until we walked out of the theater and every thought I had was to the tune of “I wish”).  Maybe it was because I was with my best friend, maybe it was the half bottle of wine, maybe it was the dinner with some awesome women that made the night so spectacular, but I loved that movie.   Okay, Johnny Depp was incredibly creepy and pedophilic, but other than that, the movie was great.   I guess I’m getting ahead of myself, though…

     (Wine and friends before the movie)

 With my move date fast approaching, I made a trip home (aka my mom and dad’s houses), and after enlisting the brute strength of Natalie (if you know her, you should have just laughed), we took to the task of loading up mattresses, box springs, and more books than she should have let sneak by.  She was my voice of reason saying “You are never going to/should never read this again,” and the force behind throwing old books into a big box labeled “Donate.”  Okay, the box actually wasn’t very big, because truth be told I have a hoarding problem that apparently applies only to books and family heirlooms that my grandma wishes to donate, but that I can’t seem to part with when I hear how old they are.  

My RV is now full of huge metal fans with butterflies, brightly-colored wooden Mexican masks, old and super breakable bowls from China (or perhaps an antique store in San Francisco?), tiny liquor glasses that were bought long ago (this one was actually Huck’s doing), and various other old-but-can’t-let-em-go items that should probably find a loving home with more space, but that I have to stare at for a while longer before being the one to cast them away.  It reminds me of the bridge in Florence that a Nazi general refused to bomb because he didn’t want to go down in history as the one who destroyed the historic landmark.   I don’t want to go down in history for giving away Grandma’s tiny liquor glasses.  And so be it.

I have tried to make a habit of only keeping things that I use (they can’t just be “functional,” such as a liquor glass is functional.  I have to actually use it), or that I think is beautiful and that makes me happy to look at.  Not stressed, which is what I feel each time I enter the Huggy Hut and see those fans in the back.  So this week, as I pack up my beloved tiny space and go through all things with this mantra in the back of my mind, I will try and let go.  I will remember that memories are kept upstairs in the head and heart, not in little fragile liquor glass or the massive metal butterfly fans.  That the people I love are immortalized in my memories of them and not in the bowls they once owned.  

Living simply is full of these challenges- letting go of stuff while grasping tighter to experiences, loved ones, memories.  It makes me really stop and think about sentiment, and whether a bowl is a reasonable stand in for a loved one.  I think the fans must go, but I am keeping that beautiful bowl.

P.S.  If there are any takers on the above mentioned items, let me know and I’d love to pass them along!

Flexing My Mental Muscles

It’s hard to see December folded away (I literally fold and keep my calendars, seems silly but they make awesome wrapping paper!), but I do love January.  I once lived with a girl who hated January, and I think most of February.  After the turn of the year and the holidays would pass, she knowingly would anticipate depression setting in and would bear down for the next few months until the sun brought out the wildflowers again.  It’s called SAD (seasonal depression disorder), and I felt for her while I soaked in the cold weather, jogged in the crisp mornings, and sipped my hot tea under loads of blankets.  I love being bundled up, and I love the renewal that comes with January. 

I realize it’s a mental thing.  What, really, is different today than was yesterday?  Um, my new and beautiful calendar is different, and my drive to make changes in my life is on fire! Sometimes people need an excuse or a kick in the butt to get motivated, and I am your lab rat case of New Year fever.   But nevertheless, I realize this enthusiasm will fade.

Articles about habits, how to make them stick, and how to make small but powerful steps to a simpler and healthier lifestyle are what has comprised most of my reading subscriptions this last year, which unearthed a fact that is semi-terrifying— my attention span has dwindled.   I was an English major at UC Berkeley for one reason- I prefer to spend my time reading.  I love books, I love to read, I love the smell of paper and if it was up to me and if someone would pay me for my efforts, I would read all day long.  Since my days in school though, the bulk of the reading material I have consumed has been digital and has been short form.  I consciously seek out shorter articles, and if something interesting is long, I skim.  Obviously, I am not the first person to point out that attention spans are shrinking with the rise of the internet and the sharing of information in quick, small little bites.  But I have noticed the effects of this truth in my daily life, and it’s time to change that. 

This blog is one way I am working on elongating my attention span and increasing my brain power.   With that in mind, while I will try my damnest to not waste words, I will not censor myself here in the interest of short and sweet.  No one may be reading this to begin with, and it’s likely that means no one new will start reading this (see short attention spans epidemic), but even with those projections I think long form of quality instead of short form with none will ultimately prevail, and will certainly be better for me and my attention span.   I also believe a shorter attention span feeds directly into the inability to stick with plans formulated in the hopeful wee hours of the year.  Elongating my attention span, therefore, will hopefully help me stick to the tougher, more time consuming and patience demanding goals I have set for myself, such as: learning Spanish, reading 12 books (one per month), learning to meditate, and exercising.   Oh, and blogging!

I usually write these posts on Mondays and let them marinate for a day before posting. In the interim, I read this article.  I found myself almost closing the article three different times, not because it wasn't interesting, but because it felt long.  I started to think of other things I could be doing, even though I was interested. I started to think I knew where she was going, so didn't need to read anymore.  While that last one might be true (the article is pretty clear from the beginning), I made myself finish the article. I consciously realized where my mind was going and recognized my short attention span kicking in, and I read to the end of the short article that felt long.  So here's to small victories on the road to change...

Central Coast Cheer

The New Year (I semi-promise this will be my last post about the New Year) is off and rolling and we beckoned the new calendar page in the best way I can think of.  I have talked quite a bit about Jake, Roxy and Kyleigh in the last few months, and we got to spend another glorious weekend in their presence.  Roxy’s parents recently bought a house in Cambria (one of my favorite places in the world), and that is where we welcomed in 2015.

(I took this one in Cambria a few years ago)

Between delicious home cooked meals, buying produce at a farmers market, exploring trails and new terrain along the coast, zebras and elephant seal encounters, and all-around awesome time spent outdoors in beautiful weather with beautiful people, we also managed to rest, relax and recharge.

        (Lost my head at Moonstone Beach, Cambria)

For those who haven’t been to Cambria, or to the Central Coast of California (that’s a lot of Cs), it’s breathtakingly beautiful and it’s peaceful.  Sure, there are lots of people and lots of tourists, but there is this year around festive feel and the locals are lovely and welcoming.  It’s like Tahoe on the coast.  Instead of skis bring your bike and you’ll have the coast as your oyster (there are lots of those, too).

We got into Cambria after midnight on New Year’s Eve, but were welcomed to a beautiful home and caught up with Jake and Roxy into the wee hours.  As you know if you’ve read anything about this family, Huck and Kyleigh are besties, and the next few days we couldn’t pry her off his shoulders, back, lap, etc.

(Watching Box Trolls- such a good movie)

On New Years day we drove up the coast a bit and introduced Kyleigh to Huck’s siblings.

They fought and made weird gross sounds, and slept a lot.

We explored San Simeon, and had lunch at a pub in town.  Kyleigh and I realized we were sitting in the same places as a year ago when we came, so had to snap a pic...

(November 2013, January 2015)

We walked around and explored.  Cambria has lots of local shops and lots of local art, and just walking around is almost calming.  I wish I took more photos of town, but I will be back there very soon!

Each night Jake and I cooked dinner, and we relaxed with cocktails, played card games with Kyleigh, and enjoyed the beautiful place.

One morning we hiked along a trail in San Simeon that takes you out to the bluffs, and here we met another elephant seal!

(San Simeon!)

(This big guys was just hanging out all lonesome)

(The walk from the beach)

(The solo black thing poking up a bit from the water is another elephant seal!)

(My new home)

(Olive, Jake and Roxy's pup) 

  We had lunch in San Simeon at a little spot, then explored the Hearst Castle Visitors Center and it’s Zebras (it’s pretty expensive to actually go, so we passed), and hiked some more closer to town.

  We watched the sun set, and I was so grateful that very soon this coast would be my home. 

(Man I love Cambria)

And last but not least, Huck and Kyleigh (again)

Ciao & Bienvendio

Two days before the new year, and one can’t help but think of goals to set, feats to attain, what can be made better, sweeter or remade completely. Writing will be one of the top priorities for me, as will doing cool sh*$# as often as possible.   It’s amazing how easy it is to be lazy after work— lay on the couch, watch some TV, maybe make some dinner and then go to bed.  It’s easy to develop the schedule of wake up, go to work, come home, and sleep which is not really the recipe for a memorable life.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely okay sometimes to just kick back and relax.  There is absolutely nothing wrong in my mind with indulging in laziness every now and again when your body needs it.  But it shouldn't be a lifestyle. 

(Exploring our home a.k.a. not being lazy)

One thing that I really want to focus on this next year is mindfulness.  Being aware of when my mind is wandering and where it goes, when I’m being unproductive or when I’m making choices that may not be the healthiest/smartest/ most responsible.  To help with that, I am going to use ChrisGuillebeau’s* model for a year-end review.  I think the best way to make things happen is to commit to them publically, so look for my review and my plans for next year to show up here shortly!  And if anyone else wants to participate, I’d love to do this together.  Natalie is already on board (we actually started doing this together last year), and  I really think having someone there to hold you accountable is the way to make projects like this successful— even when the project is really about making yourself better.  

(Hike to Table Mountain during wildflower season)

Okay, that being said and publically committed to, I’d love to look back before leaping forward, if you’ll be so indulgent with me.  With the holidays and the year wrapping up there is a lot to reflect on and be thankful for.  This year has been one of the most challenging, heartbreaking, growth inspiring, exciting times of my life.  This year was like riding on a dragons back— rough and terrifying at times, but gloriously beautiful all the same (because riding a dragon would be a kind of terrifyingly beautiful adventure, right?!). 

(Not quite riding dragons, but as close as I could get)

I started the year heartbroken and a little lost- Huck and I had broken up around Christmas and I was looking about wondering where my next steps should lead.  I imagined moving to Europe, I thought about starting a new job, I dreamed of buying a boat and sailing away, I even contemplated moving home (we all have our low points).  I had the best support system I could imagine, my family and friends built me up and showered me with more love than I thought possible for anyone to expend.  Thankfully, I saw the light and through a little maneuvering from our friends Jake, Roxy and Kyleigh, Huck and I re-collided and set out on a new path hand in hand. 

(Huck and I celebrating our 5 year anniversary in July)

I also decided to downsize my life, and when my year lease was up I moved into my 1978 RV lovingly coined the Huggy Hut (fun fact— I didn’t even name it the Huggy Hut; it came already christened with that awesome name, in the form of a massive sticker across the back).   The tiny house movement and minimalism lifestyle has been a huge inspiration for me this year, and moving into a 22 foot space was liberating.  Full disclosure though—  I kind of cheated.  Yes, I moved into the RV, but I also claimed a corner of my Dad’s garage to store by bed, a dresser, all my books, and some other things I just didn’t have the heart to get rid of…not yet at least.  I knew someday I would likely move back into a home, and that bed I’m sure will come in handy.  Also in the vein of full disclosure— I spend enough time at Huck's Dad’s house that he should really be charging me rent. 

(Ladies and Gentleman...The Huggy Hut!)

I had some really awesome state-side adventures.  I went to Vegas with a bunch of dudes to watch Huck's best friend fight in the UFC World Championship, and win.  This was one of the most exhilarating nights, the energy surrounding our friends and the after party and all of it was a whirlwind of buzzing, testosterone filled excitement.  It was my first time in Vegas as an adult, and I felt between laying by the pool all day and partying on the top floor of Mandalay Bay all night, we did it right.

(I know this is awful quality, but this is the only photo I took in Vegas!  Crazy, I know!)

I went on a familiarization trip for work to Wyoming and spent one night camping in the snow in Yellowstone, and three nights kayak-based camping on Jackson Lake in Grand Teton National Park.  I had similar feelings the first time (well, actually every time) I went to Yosemite, but the sheer beauty of the landscape we experienced made me never want to blink.  I literally had issues with dry eyes the entire trip (it may have been the extreme temperatures, but still).  I couldn’t hold steady conversations during the day or during the sunset or sunrise or when the stars would come out, brilliantly speckling the sky, because I would stand staring, mouth gaping, at the surrealness of the peaks and the light and the lake and the wildlife.  I would be talking to someone and break away mid-sentence because I missed looking at my crazy extreme surrounding.  I fell in love over and over again with the landscape, and kept having to remind myself that it’s my job to expose people to places like this.  And that I am exceedingly blessed.

(Jackson Lake, Grand Teton National Park)

(The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone)

(Norris Geyser Basin, Yellowstone)

I took Lateefah to Berkeley and San Francisco, and we explored my favorite spots on campus and in the city.  We wandered through the libraries and past silent stressed out students (been there), we weaved our way through China Town and up a narrow staircase, following our noses to lunch.  We encountered homeless men who thought Lateefah was gorgeous, and took BART and taxis and walked our little tushies off. She slept the whole way home and I knew it was a day extremely well spent.

(Lateefah at Sather Gate, UC Berkeley Campus)

(China Town, San Francisco)

I squeezed my way into a wetsuit two sizes to small and Huck and I discovered the intense difference between life above water and life below.  We dove and learned how to equalize our bodies to explore the depth unhindered and got our Basic Open Water Diver certifications.  I got hooked on the notion of diving with sharks, and we’ll be getting certified at a higher level here in January to enable us to go deeper and farther.

(My hot boyfriend trying out his scuba gear)

We celebrated two beautiful marriages that I’ve watched grow from seeds to full-fledged blossoms (that was tacky, I admit it).  Jake and Roxy tied the knot in the most perfect ceremony on the banks of a secluded lake with an inmate group of friends and family.  Huck had to talk Kyleigh into holding his hand down the aisle, and we partied almost until sunrise at Lake Alpine— and there may or may not have been some midnight swimming involved.  Michael (my friend since elementary school) and his bride Alaina threw the biggest party I’d been to all year, culminating in riding school buses to a dive bar with the entire wedding party, and there may or may not have been a stripper pole on board.

(Huck and Kyleigh at Jake and Roxy's Wedding!)

(The besties)

(Best friends since elementary school- Nat and Joey at Michael and Alaina's wedding)

And two of the brightest lights in the world faded away from us this year— Huck's mom passed away in the summer and Natalie’s dad just at the turning of fall.  I watched as two of the people I love most lost the people that they love most.  I won’t belabor this, because while I mourned alongside my boyfriend and my best friend, it is their story and not mine to tell.  But the cancer and the fight behind this colored our year in hues that will exist far into our futures.

And I fulfilled a lifelong dream of backpacking through Europe, spending seven weeks traveling by train through Italy, France, Spain and Portugal.  I learned that I am capable, and that navigating the world isn’t as difficult as I expected it to be.  I learned that to be afraid of a new place or new people is worthless, but to respect what you don’t know is imperative.

(Nick, Ericka and I in Camogli, Italy)

(OMGOMGOMG IT'S THE COLISEUM!)

With the holidays now past (mine was filled with family, friends, more changes, lots of cookies and plenty of libations), it kind of feels like we’re coasting.  Coasting into the next thing, waiting for the calendar to turn and life to move along.  2014 has been a cacophony of experiences and I’ve ridden dragons of all hues.  Today I am jumping off on a new adventure as we set foot into 2015 and move all our S*%#t down to SLO to start a new chapter.  Let the first few words on the page be filled with joy, hope and adventure…

(I think I'm going to miss this place...)

*If you don’t already follow the work of Chris, I would highly recommend his blog and his writings!  He’s a really awesome thinker and blogger, and is the person who coined the term “Travel Hacking.” 

Oh, The Weather Outside Is...

The mountains were calling this weekend, and it was my duty to pick up that phone.  Oh, and were they white!  I feel like shouting that for the world to hear—the mountains are white!  What a relief all of the rain and snow has been this last week.  There is nothing quite like sinking into a fresh snow pile up to your waist and struggling out like the Pillsbury Doughman as your hands sink next to you, impossibly trapping you until the need for rescue is imminent. Kind of like quick sand, but colder.  Oh man, I never thought I would miss those moments, but I could have sunk to my chin and been happy (and wet) as a clam.   What’s that saying— you only miss the things you can’t have?  Well, seeing the snow was like welcoming back an old, dear friend. 

And coincidentally, we were with some very dear friends indeed!  Friday night we reunited with Jacob, Roxy and Kyleigh over pizza and Headbands (if you’ve never played Headbands before, you’re missing out for sure).  Jake has been Huck's best friends since the womb— or so he tells it. I don’t ask him to explain these things.  Jake brought the hilariously amazing Kyleigh into the world 6 years ago, and married Roxy in a beautiful mountain ceremony back in August.  They’re the greatest little family, and we love the time we get to spend with them.  I personally think Huck and Kyleigh are even better friends than Huck and Jake, but don’t tell Jake that.  From the moment we walk in, Kyleigh doesn’t leave Huck's side, and Huck is on cloud 9 for finally having an actual minion.

(This is Huck and Kyleigh on a camping trip we took last year!)

On Saturday, after a delicious breakfast in Murphys, we piled into their Subaru (rest in peace Pearl) and headed for higher elevation.  Driving up Highway 4 is like a lesson in patience- the snow builds and builds until you reach Bear Valley where distinguishable flakes fall on the windshield, and there is enough snow on the side of the road to bury cars and make igloos (because, naturally, that’s what people do in the snow, right?).   Have you ever brought a dog along that has very little experience with the snow?  Well, there is nothing quite like dog happiness and Bodhi was in a pure state of bewildered, confused ecstasy.  Just pure drooling, frolicking happiness.  The kind of happiness that makes you contently exhausted at the end of the day.  Huck was no different. 

After pulling Kyleigh on the sled and getting soaking wet in the still falling snow, we all piled back in the car and headed down for some taco truck and apple donuts.  It was a morning well spent, indeed.

(You can't really tell, but that's the dogs pulling Kyleigh)

Sunday Funday was productive.  Huck recently got a trailer that needs some lovin’, so we taped off and painted and cleaned the morning away.  Then I got to head into town to spend the afternoon with Moma. We finished up Christmas shopping, we wine tasted (just a bit), and we had sushi for dinner in town.  Three of my favorite things (shopping local, drinking wine, and eating) done with one of my favorite people.   I cannot believe Christmas is in two days!  I am so looking forward to spending time with my family and friends, drinking wine and eating cookies, watching movies and eating more cooking.  And probably drinking more wine.  Have a lovely holiday, my friends… 

(My scooter commute this morning)

Tribute

Driving on Highway 50 from Placerville to South Lake Tahoe on a clear day after a storm is like stepping into a Cody Hanson photograph.  The road is wet—that slick black color—and it winds its way along pine trees in various dressings of snow.  Along the river, which meanders translucently over rounded rocks and under the watchful gaze of lichen covered oaks, the trees have just a light dusting of white, like someone came and sprinkled powdered sugar with a spare hand.  As your gaze moves up, tracking the charred fallen trees covered with new growth which gradually give way to sparse pockets of granite and living pines, your eyes finally will land on the ridge where there are kid-applied frosting portions of snow weighing down branches and piling on the rocks clinging to the mountain side.  It’s one of my favorite drives anytime of the year, but especially after the first big snow storm.  

This weekend was spent with some of the people, actually most of the people, I love most.  Those times together get rarer and rarer the older I get and I crave them more and more.  Friday night, despite the “storm of the century” rolling overhead, Huck gave me a ride to El Dorado Hills to celebrate my best friend’s 25^th birthday.  We met almost 20 years ago, and I absolutely did not like her.  It was a sunny day on the playground (probably), sometime during our first grade year, and I thought she was an alien for eating salad.  What kid eats salad?  I couldn’t wrap my little mind around willfully eating vegetables, apparently.  Fortunately, I got over my green things judgementalness and realized I would never find a better Robin (in the interest of full disclosure, she is probably more Batman and I’m Robin, but this is my blog and I can paint it how I want).  We then proceeded to follow each other around for the next 20 years. 

Women like Natalie should be celebrated everyday- she’s a 3^rd grade teacher, an incredibly supportive daughter, the most loyal friend.  She’s creative, imaginative, playful.  And she has an old soul.  I’ve always thought it’s fitting that she’s older than me- she simply has an interior that far outdates mine.  She’s so much wiser than her 25 years would suggest, and she carries herself with this antiquated air of class that isn’t common in women my age— antiquated in a tragically-lost-to-another-age kind of way.  You won’t ever meet anyone like her.  I think one day I may write a book about her.  

I also got to spend time with my lovely mother, who is the opposite of Natalie.  My mom has the most beautiful, almost effervescently youthful soul.  I’m not saying she acts like a child; I am saying she has the charisma and joyfulness and vitality of a child— the kind of character that has the power to light a room with warmth and comfort.  Similar to how a child can make you smile without trying, how they are curious about life— all those things we hope to capture about our youthful selves, the things we don’t want to lose while we “grow up”—I have always thought my mom has cultivated in herself.  She makes me feel cherished and just spending a few hours with her is revitalizing, rejuvenating, invigorating, and inspiring.  My Grandma Lois, my mom’s mom, was like that, too. 

To top it all off, I then spent most of Saturday and Sunday with my Grandma Joyce.  Writing this now really makes me realize how I am surrounded by incredible, strong women.  Grams and I drove up to Tahoe Saturday morning together, winding our way along the freshly coated Highway 50.  Our objective was to pack up as much as we could at her house, which has renters moving in the beginning of January.  I am not sure exactly how long she’s owned the house in Incline Village, but some of my most cherished memories of my family were spent there.  It’s strange to think of a new couple making memories in that house.  A bittersweet feeling— to be able to share a place you love, but to not be able to go back for a while.  This weekend will be another one of those cherished memories.  Grams and I packed up the China Cabinet (also something that is antiquated), and the time that was filled with stories.  I love my Grandma’s stories.  She’s like a family history book, and through her stories I have gotten to know my grandpas (both of them), my great-grandparents, her brother, my dad.  Listening to the histories that start in Nevada, Italy, or France and are filled with recipes and customs and family gatherings, makes me nostalgic for a time before I was even a twinkle in my parent’s eyes.  She may be 75, but when she tells these stories it’s easy to imagine her as a girl burying food in the backyard to get caught with later, or as a young woman working in my grandpa’s family business, or as a young mother cooking complicated meals and drinking Manhattans with my great-aunts and uncles.  She’s been through so much, and hearing about her life before she was one of the most important figures in mine is fascinating.  Maybe one day I’ll write a book about her, too.

I think that drive up Highway 50 will always remind me of these women- the most influential and loved women in my life.  They all have had a hand in shaping me, and I have tried to emulate character traits that I admire in each of them.  It’s interesting to me now to connect the idea of place, that I have driven that same stretch of highway with all three and have vivid memories with them tied to that corridor— one of the most beautiful stretches of highway in California.  Natalie and I drove that road countless times in high school to go ride at Sierra—memories of thermoses full of coffee and tea, pre-made sandwiches and snacks, reggae and Ben Harper, wool socks and beanie’s and a sense of freedom to be on our own and mobile.  We dreamed together on that stretch of highway.  Memories of my mom driving with the sun roof open, pulling over on the highway to change out CDs from her trunk, with an ever changing selection of friends in the back seat (often times it was Natalie), laughing and talking about life and school and friends and boys.  Then, of all the times I have been on that road with my Grandma, this one may be one of my favorites.   It was just her and I, and we talked the whole way there, never once turning on the radio.  We both love that drive, and I distinctly remember her leaning forward at one point close to the Horsetail Falls turn saying how beautiful it all looked.  And that moment will remain one of the most beautiful in my mind for a very long time.